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# 12 Steps to Olympus
- URL: https://www.hawkword.com/poetry/12-steps-to-olympus/
- Published: 2021-07-07T12:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2021-07-07T12:00:00.000Z
- Description: My name is Hercules and I’m a demigod
- Author: A. Gee
- Tags: Poetry, Allpoetry Import, #Import 2026-04-25 19:56

My name is Hercules and I’m a demigod  
Chorus: Hi, Hercules  
I hurt, though I put up a great façade  
A Greek tragedy  
I slew the lion. That was my first chore  
Lions are now extinct in Greece  
Then came the Hydra for my second score  
And came and came again  
I caught the hind, Artemis’ old stag  
But let him go  
And then the Boar, the weather was his snag  
Boring  
I cleaned the stables, that was no mean feat  
A river ran through them  
The Stymphalian birds I did defeat  
Bird shoot  
The Cretan bull I captured, and released  
Bully for you  
I brought man eating horses back to Greece  
They gave you nightmares  
Then Hyppolyta’s girdle, not my best  
You lady killer, you  
And more damn cows, a full year with no rest  
You do seem to be drowning in it  
The Garden of Hesperides was found  
How about them apples?  
And twelfth was Cerberus, the triple headed hound  
Hair of the dog  
I beat Eurystheus, though at a mighty cost  
You never had time for your family  
So now I have no quest, and I am lost  
The first step is to admit you have a problem  
My name is Hercules and I’m a demigod  
Applause  
I thank you for your time, and knowing nod  
Thank you, Hercules. Who wants to go next? Someone who's willing to expose their vulnerabilities... Achilles?

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**Author notes:** wc 238 image generated by me from MidJourney https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labours\_of\_Hercules