My name is Hercules and I’m a demigod
Chorus: Hi, Hercules
I hurt, though I put up a great façade
A Greek tragedy
I slew the lion. That was my first chore
Lions are now extinct in Greece
Then came the Hydra for my second score
And came and came again
I caught the hind, Artemis’ old stag
But let him go
And then the Boar, the weather was his snag
Boring
I cleaned the stables, that was no mean feat
A river ran through them
The Stymphalian birds I did defeat
Bird shoot
The Cretan bull I captured, and released
Bully for you
I brought man eating horses back to Greece
They gave you nightmares
Then Hyppolyta’s girdle, not my best
You lady killer, you
And more damn cows, a full year with no rest
You do seem to be drowning in it
The Garden of Hesperides was found
How about them apples?
And twelfth was Cerberus, the triple headed hound
Hair of the dog
I beat Eurystheus, though at a mighty cost
You never had time for your family
So now I have no quest, and I am lost
The first step is to admit you have a problem
My name is Hercules and I’m a demigod
Applause
I thank you for your time, and knowing nod
Thank you, Hercules. Who wants to go next? Someone who's willing to expose their vulnerabilities... Achilles?
Author notes: wc 238 image generated by me from MidJourney https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labours_of_Hercules
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