Donne and Donner

I'd imitate John Donne if I were able.
Let Shakespeare guide my iridescent pen,
and dress my kings in purple robes and sable.
Pose existential questions now and then.

I'd mimic Walter Scott. Love Quentin Durward,
though root for Burgundy over Louis,
and Robin Hood, if that is not too forward.
Dear Ivanhoe: Rebecca, set her free.

What is the point of putting pen to paper,
if I can't plot like Arthur Conan Doyle,
or Edgar Allan Poe -- now that's a caper.
A witch's cauldron slowly brought to boil.

Dumas, oh, I how I worshipped D'artagnan!
No musketeer, I shed a tear. Not Donne.