Roots and Tubers

I came across some root of all that's evil,
unfortunately, not of all that's good.
A root like any other. Its retrieval
was easier than could have been, or should.

Replanted it, remembering to water.
Got ready to collect my dividends,
but nothing grew: no, not even a quarter.
No means to help effectuate my ends.

Perhaps my ends are morally uncertain,
not evil in the strict sense of the word?
I've tried to ask the man behind the curtain
and listening to every little bird...

Reviewed life's lessons past the birds and bees.
Turns out that money doesn't grow on trees.