The Real Reason

Go on and flash your enigmatic smile.
No teeth today?  No, no, I understand.
Those walrus dentures, they do take a while,
and once you've had those, you tend to depend
on chewability that simply can't be beaten.
You may have heard that I invented those.
Without them, it's as if you haven't eaten.
Don't have to tell me, I am one who knows.
But still, what shall we tell your many fans?
They surely will expect a proper portrait.
Will they surmise the trouble at a glance?
Or worse, assume you simply can't afford it?
Eureka!  We shall say that this is how
you always smile.  And they?  They'll just say "wow!".