Light doesn’t seek escape from a black hole
No, contrary to common expectation
It revels in the giant’s gravitas
And carousels around it, with each pass
So hoping to accelerate, alas
In vain it seeks that quantum incantation
No shifting Doppler gears, no stellar gas
No Schrödinger surprise or tiny mass
No tacky tachyon who likes to go first class
It cannot get enough acceleration
And finally gives up its very soul
Sitting on my porch, looking at the harvest moon
I am old Wan-Hoo, who dreamed of reaching heaven
I am Armstrong, stepping off the ladder
I am a chiseled chin astronaut demigod
Making a triumphant return
Then she says: stop rocking so, old fool
Or you will fall off your chair
Author notes: Entering as we are the golden age of private space flight (or so I hope), thought of this little piece.
Remember when we thought we were alone?
And made fun of how Sagan said “billions”?
Then we started pointing our telescopes
At the newly discovered Kepler planets
The transmissions started pouring in:
They offered to save our planet
In exchange for new first run episodes
Of Days of Our Lives
Author notes: The Bruce Springsteen song that gave me the idea and title https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAlDbP4tdqc
Morning commute, the same routine
I’m staring at my shiny screen
“Hey brother, can you spare a dime?
And I will shift your paradigm”
Intrigued, I gesture with my phone
He moves his near, I hear the tone
And suddenly, Leia appears
Right in midair, man, it's been years!
Since I last saw it on TV
When Disney meant something to me
“Wow, it looks great!”, I tell the man
“Is that your app? You have a plan?"
He smiles and gestures, like a trace
She reaches out, touches my face
Wait, what??? I feel it on my skin
“You’re kidding me!” I see his grin
“I need you!”, Leia says, “right now!
I don’t have enough time for how”
Then sparks descend upon my head
And I am in a cave instead
Here’s Luke besides me, and R2
“That’s paradigm enough for you?”
It fades away, he clicks his screen
“How did it feel? You’re still between?”
“Oh man, so when do you release?
Please, put me on the beta, please!”
He chuckles and holds out his hand
“The dime please…”
And I understand
Author notes: I build AR and VR experiences for a living, so this was a fun ditty to write
She hissed as her color turned green
“I swallow it whole, site unseen?
And this golden fish
Will it grant me a wish?
Why can’t it be aquamarine?”
“It’s too late for wishes” I said
“Do swallow, or you’ll seem quite dead”
This essential oil
Will not let you spoil
And soon you’ll look fit to be wed
OR.......
Star Trek Featuring Monty Python
An alien chick from Orion
Attractive, through no lack of tryin’
A pill with a fish
Is her daily dish
Her life is like no Life of Bryan
She pines, yes she’s waiting for Kirk
Though she’s heard that he is quite a jerk
Yes, Biggus’ be better
He wrote her a letter
Like Spock he is going berserk
Check, she says…
I look at her, and…
I do not think of her threatening queen
I do not think of her staunchly defended rooks
I do not think of her menacing elephantine bishops
Nor do I think of her armored knights
I look at her, and all I can think of is…
Mate, please mate
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/poem/15986302-chessboard-by-cloudling.
Was it an apple or an orange
that William Tell shot off his head?
Perhaps a tangerine instead,
or better yet, a ripe old melon,
exploding as the chap was yellin’.
Perhaps. It’s easier to grapple
with rhyming about that red apple.
Certainly easier than orange.
Even if standing within bow range
They told me: a construction job
But first we need to shrink you
How big? No bigger than a fob
But you will have your own crew
I asked, shrink how? They said some ray
Some Hollywood invention
I thought a bit, then said, ok
With little apprehension
So I walk in, and there’s this…gun
That’s looking kind of scary
I start to think, what have I done?
But it’s too late to worry
Where the gun points, I see a desk
And on it, yeah, this IS nuts
Some peapods, and, this is grotesque
Some tiny folks in hard hats
No, I did not have too much sauce
I ask, what are they doing?
They’re building something for the Boss
His kid will be reviewing
What kind of a review is this?
And why the little sizes
This is a realistic piece
That’s what he emphasizes
That’s realistic??? There’s no way!
Plus, this can’t be compliant?
The kid is ten, what can I say
He likes to be the Giant
This whole thing is a movie take
For Jake and that damned Beanstalk?
If he’s the Giant, who’s the Jake?
Oh, hell, let’s have a quick talk
And that is truly how, my friends
I did become an actor
Shrinking myself for that there lens
Was the deciding factor
Vegan poetry is distinguished
from Vogon poetry
by only two letters
But in those two letters
Full as they are of broccoli and spinach
And all that goodness
Lies a whole galaxy
Author notes: 32 words. And of course, Vogons https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Vogon_poetry
Each year they flower
So excited!
Then sadly fade…
Once again
There’s no tulip mania
When we’re in Bruges – she made a face
Let’s have a pleasant stay
Now armed with chocolate, cheese and lace
I’m ready, come what may
Author notes: Haven't been to Bruges yet, high on the list
Then he fell silent, but I wanted more!
“And of the rumored riches, saw you none?
A stony face no mother could adore
Broken cartouches, baking in the sun?
That’s all? No hint of treasure, hidden door?
No golden chariots or boats? No gold?
Nothing remains of value? Not at all?
You tell a tale that’s difficult to behold”
I hoped that he was sensing my despair
He shrugged, and then produced a leathered scrawl
As if an answer to my fervent prayer
“No, nothing, but I think this is the spot”
“I knew it! I just knew it must be there!
We’re off! We’re off to see what time forgot!”
Author notes: Who can pass up an opportunity for a sequel to Ozymandias! https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46565/ozymandias