Oceanfront Villas
oceanfront villas
sinking soon beneath the waves
eminent domain
oceanfront villas
sinking soon beneath the waves
eminent domain
My self driving car
Sucked the fun out of driving
Safer for blow jobs
Author notes: adult humor ample illustrations available online but omitted https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783681-Lowku--2
the man on the moon
sends his minions below
delighted, they splash
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783607-7th-Month-Haiku---image-prompt-
You won’t look a day over twenty
It’ll cost you but hardly a penny
Putting pearls on a pig
Not the easiest gig
But lipstick? Of that we have plenty
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2782867-The-Lipstick-Limerick---Fun-write
The troll giggled to himself
beads of sweat rolling
down its forehead
used backspace, retyped
the sentence again
great, even more offensive!
There you go...
Now go forth and multiply!
Hit ENTER
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783273-Arson---In-15-words-
Beatnik Jesus was almost accepted
by the church, and even got disciples
until he delivered additional commandments
including "though shall not smoke..."
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783447-Yo--Picture-This-
Each taut string sends the spider a different signal.
Don’t ring for dinner.
Author notes: WC 13 https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783507-Brevity-Writers---13-words--exactly---Cobwe-noguest
Frogs don't drown
That’s what the Yankee professor said
Taking me for a fool. I ain’t no fool
I seen ‘em frogs floating
All swollen, bellies up
Just like Edna did after our fight
Before the alligator took her
Damned fool, this Yankee professor
Author notes: Image from shutterstock
Relying on his wit,
he was no legal giant
But then our advocate
signed up his marquee client
A mighty oak stands by the shoreline
A golden chain nailed to its bark
And on that chain, a wise old feline
Walks back and forth along an arc
On turning right, it spins a ballad
On turning left, a fairy tale
There’s magic there, a wondrous palette
A mermaid beckons with her tail
Trails you can’t see and cannot walk on
Hide traces of forgotten beasts
A hut with chicken feet to stand on
Prepares the children for a feast
The nearby woods are full of frights
And in the morning, with the tide
The sandy and abandoned beach
Will welcome thirty handsome knights
And each one ready for a fight
Their uncle last into the breach
A minor prince, questing for glory
Enslaves a formidable tsar
And in the clouds, you’ve heard the story
A wizard’s coming from afar
And in his arms, a warrior
A princess in a dungeon, grim
Her dire wolf obeys each whim
A mortar holding Baba Yaga
Is wandering in its own saga
A dragon king pines for his gold
There’s Russian spirit there, of old
I’ve been there, and I drank their mead
And saw the green oak by the shore
Sat underneath it and the cat
Told me his tales of nevermore.
Author notes: For my 100th poem on the site, I'll post a translation of Pushkin's The Shoreline, from the prelude to Ruslan & Ludmilla -- it's kind of a romp through famous Russian fairy tales Russian naturally rhymes much better than English, and Pushkin, one of the world's greatest poets, is a completely effortless rhymer, each word coming forward like a Mozart note. Far be it from me to assume I achieved anything of the sort, but I stayed true to both the meter, rhythm and rhyme scheme, the story, and tried to convey the fairy tale story. The original Russian text: У лукоморья дуб зелёный; Златая цепь на дубе том: И днём и ночью кот учёный Всё ходит по цепи кругом; Идёт направо — песнь заводит, Налево — сказку говорит. Там чудеса: там леший бродит, Русалка на ветвях сидит; Там на неведомых дорожках Следы невиданных зверей; Избушка там на курьих ножках Стоит без окон, без дверей; Там лес и дол видений полны; Там о заре прихлынут волны На брег песчаный и пустой, И тридцать витязей прекрасных Чредой из вод выходят ясных, И с ними дядька их морской; Там королевич мимоходом Пленяет грозного царя; Там в облаках перед народом Через леса, через моря Колдун несёт богатыря; В темнице там царевна тужит, А бурый волк ей верно служит; Там ступа с Бабою Ягой Идёт, бредёт сама собой, Там царь Кащей над златом чахнет; Там русский дух... там Русью пахнет! И там я был, и мёд я пил; У моря видел дуб зелёный; Под ним сидел, и кот учёный Свои мне сказки говорил.
To start from scratch is pretty hard
But the grass is always greener
You scout, or pretend to and then go
Sure you’ve had some teeth knocked out before
That bright crimson blood, remember that?
It ruined your great new wheat shirt
Cashmere sweater too, I remember that now
Like migrant birds though you leave
You see trees but not the forest
Like little insects buzzing in your head
These ideas take total command and off you go
You take an eraser, and start over
I’m not sure that muscles is enough now
I’m not shouting, ugh I give up
The sword? Really? That is mine!
No hugs! Take your caress and… No!
I DO remember forging that sword with dad
Mom’s jewelry you want too, now?
Why is that phone blinking like crazy?!?!
You always have me labeled. Then leave. Now!
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2782994-Strong-Words-Placed-Contest
When the first biblical plague
came to Canada In mid-winter
The Canadian pharaoh was surprised
But his resolve was unshaken
When the locusts came though
He had to give up
Whoever saw locusts in the snow?
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2782737-What-do-you-see--