As we float through Saturn’s rings, he kisses me
“Can’t you see I’m busy with Saturn?” I say
“I think Saturn’s already engaged, hon”, he answers
“Better find someone single”
Author notes: WC 30 https://allpoetry.com/contest/2782829-as-we-waltz-together-on-saturns-rings-in-30
The wannabe mime failed his class
No talking allowed thus, alas
His great “show & tell”
Just didn’t compel
And didn’t achieve him a pass
He thought he might try for some rhymes
Some clever ones, not verbal crimes
His frustrated yell
“I must show, not tell?!?!”
Reminds us of us, oftentimes
Author notes: sometimes, a limerick is just the right form
Can't trust a man with two first names
They said of my credentials
So change your name, and those cheap frames
Those changes are essentials
Pick a strong name, something with style
Something that tells a story
Then maybe, the rejection pile
Will get a bit less gory
Yes, as John Frank I was, alas
inconsequential dribble
But now my name has gravitas
I'm practically a Sibyl
Parents named me Abel.
Changed it to Cain
when I was able
Author notes: WC 12 Can, Cain, Abel, able https://allpoetry.com/contest/2782581-first-name-change-brevity
‘tis often said:
there are no atheists in foxholes
Ask yourself:
who sent them to convert?
Paradise was invented
because every parasite
needs a host
Author notes: The title of course is a play on Milton's Paradise Lost, the host of angels in heaven, and poem of course plays on the transposed pun similarity between paradise and parasite.
The price of competition’s steep
If you are battling Meryl Streep
Oh dear the gowns, the dinner winks
Go with that lizard to get “drinks”
No actress, even with great voice
Wants to compete with Sophie’s Choice
And truly, who can even blame her
Compete with Kramer versus Kramer??
Oh, Dianne Wiest had hoped to catch her
Then Meryl clones old Maggie Thatcher
So let’s be fair, no one comes close
Sometimes there is only one rose
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783430-Paying-Respect-to-Academy-Experts---Actress
A proud droplet of Lancaster blood
surrounded by an army of Yorks
She conquers
Author notes: WC 14 https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783580-Brevity-Writers---15-words-or-less---Rose-noguest
Puppy love
indeed conquers all
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783519-5-words---Advice-to-someone-who-doesnt-like
To cigarettes I’ve left unsmoken
To women I have failed to bed
To gluttony I gladly shed
To ugly truths I’ve left unspoken
To mediocre jobs I’ve done
To roads I could but had not taken
To drinks, however stirred, not shaken
To trophies that I hadn't won
I’m here today to celebrate you
You, all of you, deserve this toast
You are so few, but I don't hate you
Permit me, though, this little roast
Author notes: 3. What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, f**k and smoke plenty of cigarettes. Charles Bukowski https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783529-Quotes-on-alcohol-drunkenness
If laughter is the best medicine
Can it get covered by health insurance?
I'll send them a bill for my limericks
Author notes: WC 21
Your birthday, you ask for a pet
And hope that your mom won’t forget
You wanted that puppy
Instead it’s a guppy
There won’t be a need for a vet
Remind mom that she is a yuppy
And sure, you can start with a guppy
But her friends have pooches
So, here are some smooches
Please bring home a cute little puppy
Author notes: https://allpoetry.com/contest/2783536-Quick-contest--aquarium-fish